Happy New Year! 2019 – 365 days, 365 pages, 365 chances What will your year bring??

Hello everyone! Happy New Year!

We can’t believe that 2019 is already here! It seems like we were just celebrating the night going into 2018. Last year brought us a lot: job changes/ transitions, made new friends, made new memories with old friends, new babies and pregnancy announcements from many friends of ours, new holiday memories and much more.

Of course with the good there is always some bad, and although we had some difficult moments last year, we are choosing to move forward in a positive direction this year. We decided long before new year’s that we were going into the new year with a positive outlook and attitude and that no matter what, we weren’t going to allow small things bother us or allow toxic relationships to bring us down. We are working on rebuilding broken relationships with a renewed attitude and a breath of fresh air.

This year we feel is going to be one of the best years for us yet. We have SO much to look forward to and we are excited about all the new memories that we are going to make. Of course there will be some stressful moments along the way but nothing that we can’t handle or work through.

This year brings us 3 years of marriage and 6 years of dating. Although it hasn’t been a walk in the park, we often reflect on where we are at and find ways to make our relationship better all the time. It’s one of the most important things to us to continually make our marriage great. This year is NO EXCEPTION!

At the end of 2018, Ryan and I sat down to go over some goals that we wanted to work on and accomplish over the next 12 months. Goals aren’t accomplished overnight and writing them down helps you to keep yourself accountable and actually keep working on your goals because it makes them more of a reality.

Our goal areas for 2019 were:

Financial

Career/ Business

Free Time/ Family Time

Health

Relationships/ Marriage

Personal Growth

Spiritual

For each area we wrote down smaller, more manageable and specific goals:

Paying off my student loan, budgeting, read business books geared towards our work goals, prioritizing time/ time management, regular family time, working out more, better eating/ meal prep, obstacle race, drink more water, communication, self-care, more time with godly friends, working on love languages, reading more books, accountability partners, devotionals, pray more, obedience to God/ surrender to God’s plan for our lives and reading more in God’s word.

This isn’t all of our goals but just a general summary of some of the ones we are working towards. I am hoping by the end of January to have a vision board set up with all our goals on it so we can view it daily and continue to work on these all year long.

We decided to call them goals rather than resolutions because for us, goals are more intentional. We set intentions instead of resolutions. Have you thought about your 2019 goals yet or is that something that you need to work on this week and get started on? Either way is ok, just remember that writing them down and sharing with others keeps you accountable and helps keep you motivated! Share yours with us via Instagram! www.instagram.com/ourharttoyours

Happy New Year and God Bless!

With Love,

The Harts

Post-Valentine’s Date Night

My husband and I don’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day. We know that it is a made up holiday created by card and candy companies to make money. Typically we do something small, have a nice dinner at home but we don’t do gifts. I usually get him a card and he usually gets me some flowers but that’s about it. This year, we spent Valentine’s day at home, like usual, enjoying a nice home-cooked meal and each other’s company. Thursday, however, we had the pleasure of seeing our favorite band play live at one of the coolest venues we have been to thus far.

Now, it has been almost 4 years (probably like three and a half) since we first saw them play a live show. My husband introduced me to The Ballroom Thieves, and we were able to celebrate our first dating anniversary in 2014 seeing them live. It was a great show at Cain Park in Cleveland, Ohio (similar setup to Blossom Music Venue), and we got to meet them at intermission and share how one of their songs was our song and that it was our anniversary. So they were not originally planning on playing our song “Save Me”, but after hearing our story they decided to play it and we were thrilled. Fast forward to this year and we finally got to see them live again.

The ended up playing at this really cool venue in Cleveland called the Music Box Supper Club. The venue is right on the water, and you can order drinks and dinner while you’re watching the concert. They also have a wonderful patio that looks like it would be great during the summer time. This particular night, however, it happened to be very foggy and raining and so it made the perfect backdrop to watch the band play. Everything from the valet, to the servers, to the food was excellent. We had an amazing time and once again got to say hello and meet our favorite band in person. That’s one of our favorite things about this band, is how much they appreciate their fans and that they take the time to say hello to you after a show and they are very talented! If you ever get a chance to check them out live, you definitely should, and as for the music venue, we will DEFINITELY be heading back there, whether it be for a concert or even just a date night dinner out. Thanks Calin (Cali), Devin and Martin for once again putting on an amazing show! We can’t wait to see you all again in concert soon!

Getting to Know the Harts

Hello! My name is Melinda; I am 29 years old and a Cosmetologist. My husband’s name is Ryan; he is 30 and a Strength Coach and Personal Trainer. We are the Harts. We are a Christian couple who lives in Ohio, and have been married for 1 year as of yesterday! Happy Anniversary! I had been contemplating writing a blog for a while, and after a suggestion from a friend of mine, I thought ‘what better timing than our anniversary to get started!’. I love the idea of being able to relate to people in all the joys and struggles that this life brings. My husband and I are real, everyday people just like you. We want to be able to share our lives with you so that you can know you are not alone. We believe that our story is not our own, that God has given each of us a particular story and testimony and we want to share ours with others in the hopes that they can relate and find hope in what they are going through, but also to find peace and joy in the mundane of the everyday. Our history makes us into who we are today and shape the testimonies that we share with others. With that being said, my husband and I would like to share our story with you.
Ryan and I met July of 2013. Four years ago today to be exact. Ryan had a roommate that was a karaoke dj that I was mutual friends with. On this particular Tuesday night, it happened to be karaoke night, so I got ready for karaoke as I usually did. Prior to karaoke, my friend/ Ryan’s roommate had invited me over to go swimming at their apartment complex.
Ryan at the time was working 2 jobs, participating in 2 internships and going to school for his Bachelor’s Degree in Exercise Science. So needless to say Ryan was never home. There was a staff meeting for the physical therapists at the hospital that Ryan was interning at and he wasn’t required to attend, so they gave him the rest of the day off. And so…
Ryan was already at the apartment, preparing to take a nap that afternoon, when his roommate and I returned to go swimming. This is when I first caught Ryan’s eye. We spent all afternoon hanging out, which led to me asking Ryan out on a date before I headed off to karaoke for the evening. Ryan, of course said “YES!”.
From here, we spent the next few weeks hanging out and getting to know one another a little more. Our first official date was at Otani’s; a little hibachi restaurant in the city where we live that is no longer open. Soon after that Ryan invited me to an afternoon cookout and hike at Mohican State Park. The hike consisted of a 2 hr. long trek in the WRONG direction! Ryan’s plan was to take me to Lyon’s Falls and ask me to be his official girlfriend. Once Ryan realized we were on the wrong trail we decided to head back and eat lunch because at this point we were pretty hungry. So we headed back and parked at a spot to grill out. During lunch, Ryan realized there was a different place he could take me to and ask me out officially. So after lunch we headed over to the Gorge Overlook in Mohican State Park, which is up on a large hill and overlooks a beautiful valley. It was here he officially asked me to be his girlfriend. So on August 18, 2013 we started our journey towards what we didn’t know would actually be forever.
From here we pursued an average life for a dating couple in our modern culture. I moved in with Ryan December of 2013, where we kind of “played house”. Although we were committed to one another, this was not God’s plan for us. Over the Spring/ Summer of 2014, I started working as a Mary Kay Consultant. I was invited to church by my MK director. The following week, I decided to give the church near our apartment a try, as I was seeking new faces for my MK business. (I am no longer in the MK business) I am not sure what lead me to go to church on my own, as I was not a believer at the time, however I feel that God was meeting me where I was, and using my circumstances to draw me closer to Him. He was probably looking down thinking to himself “whatever gets her in the door will work, because I have an important message for her to hear”. (This is something I love to share with people now, to show them that God meets us where we are and can use even the most selfish of circumstances to draw us closer to a relationship with Him). It was on August 10, 2014 that I discovered who God is, and I also began pursuing reconciliation with my mother. At this point, my husband was still absent from a present walk with Christ; even though he had been going to church all through childhood, he fell away due to family circumstances in his early adult years.
Even though I became passionate about the Lord and living a life that would honor God, I was still ignorant (or unlearned) to his word, and there were basic things that I didn’t understand that would go against what God would want for my husband and I prior to us being married. From August 2014 to November 2014, we continued our normal dating relationship just as we had been prior to going to church. All the while, God was continuing to work in my heart and beginning to work in my husband’s heart. In early November 2014, Ryan began to attend church with me because he had seen what a positive difference it was making in my life. On November 22, 2014, I got baptized, making a public declaration of my love for my Heavenly Father. It was on this night that God would change our lives and the path of our relationship forever.

 

Following my baptism, we were headed to a friend’s house to celebrate that same evening. On the car ride from the church to their house I mentioned to Ryan that I wanted to talk to him about something. Now mind you, when men hear this, all sorts of crazy things go through their head. Ryan’s first thought was “what did she just say?”. During that conversation, I told Ryan that God had been working in my heart and convicting me that we should end intimacy with one another until we were married. At this point, we were not even engaged yet, and in our current culture, this can be something that tears down and breaks relationships. However, I knew that God was ordaining everything, and I trusted in Him that Ryan was someone I wanted to spend my life with, and I could tell that Ryan was nervous but felt the same way. We both agreed to wait until we were married and even though there were times of struggle, we did everything we could to eliminate any temptation between us.
We got engaged on April, 26, 2015. Ryan was baptized on May 2, 2015 devoting his heart to the Lord as well. At this point, we were still living together and playing house, but we remained abstinent. On the day of Ryan’s baptism, Ryan and I both felt it in our hearts to separate our sleeping arrangements. We continued to live together, but I began sleeping on the couch, giving Ryan the bed, until we were blessed with a family member donating a second bed to us, where I could then start sleeping in our second bedroom. In late October 2015, a little over 8 months until our wedding, we met with our officiating pastor for the wedding, and we were informed that we must live separately or our church would not be able to marry us. This was very important to us that we be married by our church, and so I moved home with my dad until the day we would become husband and wife. It was probably one of the best times I have had in my life being able to spend some last times hanging out with my dad and really learning what God says about marriage and giving us a chance to grow in our faith as we learned to trust God and pursue a Christ-centered relationship.
On July, 9, 2016, three years exactly from the day we met, my husband and I exchanged vows and wedding rings, participated in foot washing, communion and celebrated our marriage with our closest family and friends. There were a lot of things that happened in our families and in our lives between April 26, 2015 and July 9, 2016. Our faith was tested, many times, but we always trusted that whatever life had in store for us, God would be our rock and help us make it through.
Fast forward to today, one year of marriage in. They tell you that the first year is the hardest, and while we believe that is partly true, we also believe that marriage is what you make of it. During our first year of marriage, my mother and step-father moved into a new house, my mother-in-law moved into an apartment, and my father moved down south to a new place, all within the week prior to and including the week of our wedding. My father was finishing up his divorce from my step-mother, a relationship that not only broke down between them, but I suffered the loss of her in my life as well. (A year later from our wedding and things just recently got finalized) In the fall of 2016, my husband’s father began to face a declining health situation, and would eventually lose his battle with alcoholism in January 2017. I had a falling out with a dear friend prior to my wedding, which caused her to miss my wedding, and we worked on forgiveness and started rebuilding our friendship shortly after our wedding. Things couldn’t be better than they are right now for her and I. Through that short time apart from one another, our friendship was strengthened and fortified.
There wasn’t just family things that we had to experience and learn how to deal with. We also had to learn what it meant to be married, how to handle different things, and how to make our marriage the best that it could be. Great marriages don’t just happen; they take work. We had to learn how to share the bathroom, how to communicate effectively and how to share the responsibility around our home as we are both working full time jobs. There were two very important things that we were told are really the breaking points for many marriages… Take a guess as to what those two things are… You probably guessed it; sex and money. While these two things don’t seem like that big of a deal, just look at the causes of many broken marriages and divorces; the end result of a broken marriage or why someone gets divorced is usually caused by those two things. This is not to say everyone who suffers a broken marriage or divorce that these are the reasons, but they usually tend to play a role in there somewhere. So how did my husband and I communicate about these two things and what did we do to alleviate the problems that they can cause?

My husband and I had long conversations about what things we could do to eliminate the stress that these two areas can bring to a marriage. We began looking into birth control options prior to marriage so that we would be prepared when our wedding came, and we found that NFP or Natural Family Planning was our best option. When it comes to finances, neither my husband nor I had great counsel on finances growing up. Both of our families had their own financial difficulties, between lack of budgeting, credit cards and frivolous spending. We discovered something, (that I had actually heard before but never really put to good use) called FPU or Financial Peace University. This taught us how to budget, pay off debt and prepare for our future, children’s future, home-buying, saving, etc. These two things have become strong pillars in our marriage and have worked to increase and strengthen our communication and our relationship.
This is just the beginning of our blog. We are thankful that you took the time to read about our story leading up to our marriage. We will continue to talk about what we think about marriage so far, how we’ve managed, where we have made mistakes, where we have had success and how we lean on God and our support systems through it all. In our next couple of posts we will dive into more detail on how we have built our foundation for success in intimacy and finances through using NFP and FPU.

Stay tuned for our next blog post!

 

Surprise! New Season of Life

Well, here we are; about to celebrate 3 years of marriage and 6 years of dating. Never did we imagine when we said “I Do” 3 years ago that we would have anticipated a day like this to come. For those who don’t know, my husband had ACL surgery 11 years ago. I think that’s how he ended up switching from computer science as his college major over to exercise science. The process of helping someone recover was fascinating and he decided that he wanted to pursue a life helping athletes and individuals to stay healthy and prevent the need for surgery if possible through lifestyle change and exercise.

It seems as if the news about his surgery came so suddenly; one moment we are making summer plans and talking about going to the Alive Festival and the next moment we are cancelling our summer plans, even small ones, so that he can undergo knee surgery and the recovery process. At 32 years old, we never imagined that he would be bone-on-bone and arthritic in his knee, let alone need a partial knee replacement and ACL repair. His surgery from 11 years ago just didn’t hold up the way that doctors had hoped, so once again he needed surgery.

          We talked about all the options, even getting a second opinion just to be certain, but we knew we had talked to the best of the best in our area and that surgery was the only option to prevent further issues and damage to the knee. Here’s what’s so crazy about the situation… he had very minimal issues with pain and was working out like normal from before we found out about the surgery all the way until even the week of the surgery. Many people were so confused as to how he needed surgery if he was able to be so active still.

          Well, here we are, Friday, June 28, 2019, just one day after Ryan underwent surgery. The last two days were exhausting and long. We initially were told to be at the hospital at 10:30am and then surgery would be at 1:30pm; however the surgeon had something cancel so the surgery was moved to 9:15am meaning we had to be there at 6:15am. So we arrived at the hospital around 6:15am, uncertain of how the day would play out. He got himself signed in and we waited for them to call us back and get prepped and ready for surgery. My MIL took the day off work so she was with us all day as well. They called him back and got him prepped for surgery while we waited patiently in the waiting area.

          After he was prepped and ready they called us back so we could talk for a bit before he went into surgery. Seeing my husband in the hospital gown, the realization that he was actually about to go into surgery, was a lot for me. It is something I have never had to deal with before and I just had so many emotions going on. I was glad that he was going to finally have a new knee and not be in pain, yet I was also nervous because it’s surgery I have never had to undergo surgery myself or be with someone who was going through surgery. Once the surgeon was ready for him, we walked out the door with him and my MIL and I went to wait patiently in the waiting room. It was a long 3 hour wait. I had to run home for a few things we had forgotten and to grab my MIL and I some food and that was the longest drive it felt like. I was so nervous that I would leave and I would get a call and not be there in case something happened. I ran home, grabbed us food and made it back with plenty of time to spare.

          Once we found out he was out of surgery, we were relieved to say the least. The Dr. came in and explained everything and said all went smoothly and that Ryan did fine. Such a relief to hear. We still had to wait a couple hours post-surgery before we were able to see him however. The first time seeing him post-surgery was kind of comical. He was still a little loopy from the anesthesia and was being so goofy, it definitely kind of lightened the mood. However, once the anesthesia started to wear off, the pain started to get a bit more intense.

          The nursing staff at the hospital made sure Ryan was well-tended to and that he was always comfortable. I decided that I would stay the night. I couldn’t imagine going home and leaving him at the hospital all by himself. It was a long night for both of us, as he was woken up every 3-4 hours for vital checks and to be given pain meds and the chair I slept in was not the most comfortable. Some time throughout the night, I had some time to myself where I just thought about all the family members that have stayed by the side of their loved ones through sickness or surgery and how they also must have felt. I may not have slept great but I had peace knowing my husband was comfortable, taken care of and that the hardest part was over.

          Now begins the road of recovery. It won’t be the easiest and there will be some challenges along the way I am sure. However, we have each other and I know how dedicated he is to getting back to the career he loves. I know that God will use this season to help us grow in our marriage and relationship with each other as well as with Himself. We send out much thanks for all the help and prayers along the way and to everyone who was constantly checking in and making sure we were ok. 

          Stay tuned for more information regarding the recovery process as well as some photos of before and after surgery!

STRIVING: How to Find Your Calling and Purpose from God

Over the last week, I personally have been reading a devotional that focuses specifically on fasting and prayer. It’s called ‘Awakening: 21 Days of Prayer and Fasting Devotional’. The goal is to break out of a season of stagnancy and into a season of experiencing God’s presence in a new and fresh way. When I was reading yesterday’s topic, something spoke to me and I had this ‘Ah ha!” moment.

No matter how long you’ve been a believer and walking with God, have you ever felt at times, whether short periods of time or extended lengths of time, that you aren’t sure what your calling and purpose in this life really was? I think that almost every single one of us has felt that way at some point. The question we need to examine, is are we still in the place of uncertainty or have we discovered our calling and purpose from God?

I think for a while now, I have felt like many of you, I’m sure, where if I was not involved in something ministry-focused, missions-focused or directly related to the church, then I wasn’t fulfilling this calling and I still hadn’t found my purpose from God. As I was reading yesterday, I had this moment where I finally realized something.

First and foremost, most decisions we make in life aren’t between good and bad, but rather between what is good, better and best. What college should I go to? What should I major in? Where should I live and work after college? Should I switch majors? None of these are will have a black and white answer. There isn’t anything inherently wrong with a decision about any of those questions. They are just questions with a good decision, a better decision and a best decision.

The important thing we have to remember is that when we are facing important, life-altering decisions, we have to keep our heart and mind focused on CLEARLY hearing the voice of God. Jesus regularly took time away (Luke 4:42) to be alone with God so that his actions would be not just doing what was good – teaching the crowds and healing the sick and hurting – but rather doing GOD’S will. There would have been nothing bad about him continuing to do what he was doing, it just wasn’t the BEST decision he would have made.

When you can clearly hear the voice of God, you can discover your gifts and talents that God has blessed you with and you’ll be able to understand even more how to use those gifts and talents to fulfill the purpose God has for you. Once you understand that you’ll be able to better fix your focus on prioritizing your life around the calling and purpose God has for you.

The big reality is this: we weren’t made to simply exist… We were SENT by God

The purpose of ALL followers of Christ is to be WITNESSES for the gospel of Christ.

If we take a moment and look at the everyday activities that we do, how can we challenge ourselves to begin to see them as opportunities to be a witness for Jesus?

Let’s ask ourselves some questions:

–         What has God called me to?

o   What am I passionate about? What do I enjoy doing?

–         What gifts, skills, talents, has God blessed me with?

–         How can I use those to live out my calling?

When I think about this in terms of my own life, I come to this conclusion:

I love working with people, interacting with them and sharing my heart with them. I also love doing anything creative, artistic or crafty. How does my career choice of cosmetology play into that and how can I, as a follower of Christ fix my focus not on what I do as my career but rather using my career that I chose, from the gifts and talents that God gave me to life out the ultimate calling and purpose directly from God which is to be a witness for Christ?

When I step out in faith and put God in the forefront of whatever it is I’m doing and He is glorified in that, being bold in my faith and making sure that I give credit to God in all things, and living out a life that is Christ-centered, that when others look at me they see the heart and mind of God , THAT is the calling and purpose of God.

So let’s stop getting so caught up in thinking we have do be doing ministry, missions or something grand to fulfill the purpose and calling of God. Let me give you a practical example from my own experience:

My spiritual gifts are exhortation (the gift of encouragement), pastoring/ shepherding (the gift of leading and guiding) and the gift of evangelism (the gift of sharing the gospel). Spiritual gifts are something that God blesses us with and they are something that, like a muscle of the body, must be exercised and worked on. So how do my spiritual gifts play into my purpose and calling?

Besides my career of hair and makeup, I have a huge passion for sharing my heart about things with others. My husband and I have an Instagram (@ourharttoyours) where we post daily inspirational and scripture posts and we talk about them more in detail as well as share our lives with others. The whole reason behind beginning our blog and Instagram was to show others the love of Christ as well as be relatable to those we were serving. The more I have continued to write posts and talk about scripture more in depth, do live video discussions with other believers, I can see how God is using this avenue of our life to strengthen and grow my spiritual gifts.

To wrap things up, it doesn’t matter what you are doing, as long as you are doing it to serve God and to be a witness for Christ. Your calling is whatever path in life you feel drawn to (your career) and that will become evident by your talents and gifts, and you will fulfill your purpose as long as you continue to be a witness for Christ in all that you do.

If you’re still stuck on what to do or where to go from here, I encourage you to spend some time this upcoming week to pray and ask God where He would lead you. Ask Him to reveal some truths about your talents to you, give you guidance and wisdom on what those might be (if you’re not sure) and maybe even take the spiritual gifts assessment if you have never done so and even sitting down and talking more in depth with someone who can help you better understand what this looks like in a practical way.

We hope this was insightful and helped you understand more of how to live out our calling and purpose from God.

God Bless you,

The Harts

Boundaries: Self-Care, Self-Love and Self-Respect

Let me start by saying that until recently, this isn’t really a topic I was all too familiar with or really knew how to do. Let’s talk about boundaries for a minute. What are boundaries?

Boundaries – a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line

a limit of a suject or sphere of activity

Essentially, it is establishing a line across which one will not cross regarding a specific topic or activity. With that being said, how do I know what to establish boundaries for? Think about things that hurt you emotionally, mentally, physically or spiritually. What do you not want to see, hear, be exposed to, etc? Then you will need to determine the limits surrounding those things, deciding what you are and are not willing to tolerate. Then you will want to make those boundaries clear and concise for those who would have the potential to overstep or completely abuse your boundary lines. If someone is unwilling to respect your boundaries then it would be clear to me that this person or people are unwilling to respect you as a person. If someone cares about you and loves you then they would respect your boundaries and not try to push them, ignore them and they certainly wouldn’t avoid you because of them.

My husband and I recently discovered how setting boundaries can be freeing yet also difficult. Alcohol abuse and alcoholism are present in both sides of our family. There are individuals who have abused alcohol or who have gone past the point of abuse, to where they are considered an alcoholic; someone who cannot control their drinking and has a pre-occupation with alcohol. Alcoholics come in a variety of degrees and it is not always the person who is severely intoxicated to the point of blackouts and being unable to stand up. Alcoholics can also be as simple as someone who refuses to give up alcohol no matter what their addiction is costing them in the end. They have no care or concern for their actions as long as they are getting their fixation of alcohol.

Let me start by saying that my husband and I have no problem with alcohol itself. We enjoy a glass of wine every now and then. However, we do have a problem when alcohol is abused. Recently, we established a boundary with some family members who we know have been diagnosed with alcoholism and knowingly abuse alcohol even when they are made aware that their decisions are not only hurting themselves but they are hurting those around them. Our boundaries were met with tension and excuses. Essentially we were told flat out that our boundaries were not going to be respected. Now that we have established these boundaries and are firmly standing our ground, the family members involved have begun avoiding us, only contacting us when they want or need something. The difficult part of the situation and this relationship is that one family member is the alcoholic and one is the enabler. The alcoholic sees no issues with their actions as they go to work, they are not abusive and they aren’t destructive. The enabler defends the alcoholic stating the same excuses – the alcoholic goes to work, isn’t abusive and isn’t destructive. When someone has all the signs and symptoms of an alcoholic, and their behavior is negatively affecting others, it doesn’t matter what they are doing; the facts are the facts. The fact is that the person who isn’t addressing and is allowing the alcoholic behavior to continue and even provides support for the alcoholic to drink is enabling them and just as destructive as the alcoholic themselves. So how did we establish our boundaries regarding the abuse of alcohol with these family members?

Essentially we have had recurring issues with the subject of alcohol at this particular family member’s house and we kindly asked that if we are coming to visit, that we would not be drinking and that we kindly asked that they do not drink prior to or during our visit. We asked this because of an altercation that happened last year at this particular family member’s household where another family member was visiting and got drunk and was being beligerent to the point of getting into an altercation with me. To this day nothing has been done to hold this individual accountable for their actions and excuses continue to be made for their behavior. Therefore, we decided that alcohol in the context of this environment is not a good idea and we would ask that during any future gatherings those who wish to be around us there would refrain from alcohol and if we arrived and it was deemed that alcohol had been consumed, we would remove ourselves from the situation. Since we have established these boundaries with these particular family members it has been clear that our boundaries will not be respected and that since that is the case the individuals involved have chosen to exclude us from being at their home.

For us this is hurtful and unfortunate, yet it is also avoidable and unnecessary. The individuals are choosing to alienate themselves because alcohol is more important. They have made it clear that they will not respect our boundaries and that the lack of respect for boundaries is normal and acceptable to them. Therefore they have chosen to keep themselves out of our lives and miss out on things that they cannot get back.

If someone makes it clear to you that they will not respect your boundaries, whether through words or actions, and they try to make you feel bad or place blame on you for establishing your boundaries, you need to stand firm. There should never be guilt placed upon the person or persons who establish boundaries for the protection and well-being of themselves or their family.

In this case my husband and I were not only thinking of ourselves, but to the day in the future when we would have children of our own, and how this behavior is not something that we would feel comfortable allowing our children around nor would we allow them to be around such behavior.

NEVER feel bad for setting boundaries that protect your emotional, physical, mental and spiritual well-being. All we can do is establish boundaries that are healthy and the choices that individuals choose to make in spite of those and the consequences of their actions are solely up to them. WE are not responsible for someone’s actions or their behavior nor are we responsible for the consequences of their behavior or actions. We are all free to choose the behavior and decisions we make, but we are not free of the consequences of said behavior or actions.

If someone is continually claiming they will change or respect your boundaries yet clearly has no concern for your boundaries or negative behavior continues to occur, you have to realize that things may not change. We cannot MAKE people respect our boundaries. At some point, it is OKAY to walk away from something or someone that is hurting us. We are called to be compassionate and kind but we aren’t called to be doormats. We do not have to feel bad for putting space between us and those who refuse to be respectful.

If you are struggling with establishing boundaries and need someone to talk to, or you would like to hear more of our story regarding this topic, please feel free to reach out to us at ourharttoyours@gmail.com

Have a blessed and wonderful day!

Alive Festival 2018

Well here we are… Almost a week since we were on our last day at the Alive Festival at Atwood Lake Park in Mineral City, Ohio. We looked forward to this trip for months and despite the weather threatening us with thunderstorms all weekend, we were still very excited. We had an amazing time and we wanted to share with you all the wonderful stories that we have from last weekend as well as some likes, dislikes and things to remember for next year. But first, a little backstory…

My husband grew up going to the Alive Festival for many years, when it was still at Clay’s Park, where as my first year at the Alive Festival was last year and I was only able to attend on Sunday. This year we thought it would be fun to go for all three days and to camp. So back in December, I thought since we had decided on going, that I would surprise my husband by purchasing on-stage seating for the band Mercy Me. My plan was to keep it a surprise until that day but earlier this year we went to see the movie “I Can Only Imagine” and after seeing the movie I couldn’t hide the secret any longer and I told him my plan. He was ecstatic and so was I!

So do you want the likes or dislikes first? Most people like bad news first so I guess we’ll start with the dislikes… These things are more of a minor annoyance than anything that would deter us from coming again but are helpful to remember when planning on coming for the weekend. First, there was really not that much of a selection of vendors in the marketplace this year. This was disappointing but on the bright side, at least it kept us from spending money!

Second, they had some really nice shower and bathroom trailers but the lines were extremely long many times and you found yourself waiting to go to the bathroom for about 30 mins or so sometimes. The only thing I would make sure of is that you plan your trips to the bathroom accordingly. If you have a certain band you want to see or meet and greets/ on-stage seating, then make sure you give yourself plenty of time to get through the line and to where you need to be.

Third, there was really a lack of electrical for us to blow up our air mattresses because there was a group of campers near us that had many of the outlets taken up with surge protectors so they weren’t readily accessible, however, they were generous enough to share with us no problem. Just keep that in mind if you need electrical when camping next year! I had an extra battery pack that was fully charged for charging my cell phone at night.

We parked down by the beach, which is closer to the entrance of the camp, so just know that although it is a bit quieter and more of a prime place to camp, you will be walking a decent distance to get to the main stage. So now that we got all of those annoying things out of the way, let’s talk about the positives.

First, the campground itself is rather large and there is PLENTY of space for each campsite to have their setup and extra room. Speaking of room, we had an AMAZING spot for camping. We were right on the edge of a path, close to the bathrooms and a 3-5 minute walk to the lake. Plus where we were camping, we were able to hear the music and some keynote speakers from the Beach Stage without actually having to go stand in the crowd if we preferred not to. Although the weather report was calling for thunderstorms all weekend, we got VERY lucky and honestly only had to seek shelter from the rain once, while we were down by the Main Stage.

There was also a GREAT selection of artists, seminars and things to do. They had many keynote speakers, activities for the kids, including an animal show that we just had to sit in on, and of course the beach with many inflatables!

We met so many amazing people and even ran into a few people that we knew throughout the weekend! Everyone was kind and generous with/towards one another.

One of MY personal favorite things about the last weekend was getting up early to go down to the lake, sit in the peace and quiet and do my devotional and spend time with God. (and if you need to charge your phone, there are some outlets down near the concession stand by the beach as well).

So through all of the craziness and emotions of last weekend, we had quite some memorable moments that we really can’t forget. First, of course, was all the time we got to spend worshiping and spending time with other believers.

Second, would be sitting ON-STAGE to see Mercy Me play! I recommend everyone do this at least once in their life!

Third, my husband, myself, my MIL and my friend Kimmie were able to spend some time praying and doing communion together.

Fourth, Friday during the day while we were at our campsite, one of the festival volunteers brought this girl over on a golf cart and asked if we minded if she camped on the other side of our tent (in the open space next to our fire ring). Of course we didn’t mind since we didn’t need the extra space. The girl shows up wearing only her backpack and we exchange introductions and she starts conversating with us. Come to find out she is visiting several different music festivals and she is rollerblading to all of them! I admire her tenacity! I sure don’t know if I have the endurance to go even half as far as she was going! So throughout our conversation she tells us her story which was very long and detailed but I thought for the purpose of the blog I would shorten it for you. A few years ago, she wasn’t walking with Christ and she was so filled with hate, especially towards Christians, that she wanted to make people hurt the way she was hurting (as they say “hurting people hurt people”). However, throughout the kindness and compassion of total strangers on her journey rollerblading all over (they provided her with food and water when she was traveling by people’s houses), God worked in her heart and she had a total heart change. The reason she was at Alive was to share her story with others and it was such an incredible story to hear. God knew she would be there and He knew her needs and knew that by placing her next to our campsite that we would have the provisions to provide shelter and blankets for her and I am so grateful that God used us and worked in such an amazing way! The reason we had the provisions to be able to provide a tent for this young woman was because we had borrowed a bigger tent since our tent was a bit small for even just us two after the air mattress was put in because it was just big enough to hold the air mattress and nothing else. (We didn’t realize this when we bought it… ALWAYS buy a bigger tent than you think you need!) We happened to bring our original tent with us just in case we needed it and I am so glad God placed it on our hearts to do so!

Fifth, I got BAPTIZED IN THE LAKE! For those of you who know me and my walk with Christ, know that I originally got baptized in 2014 when I was a brand new believer. I was so on fire for God that I just kept wanting to grow closer to Him. In that passion for growing my relationship with Him, I decided to get baptized. However, after we decided to go to Alive, the closer we got to the date of leaving for Alive, God kept placing baptism on my heart and revealed to me that my intentions and heart were not in the right place initially in 2014. I took much time to pray on this matter and consulted many wise friends and mentors during this time to ensure that I was doing the right thing. After some prayer and discussion with friends and mentors and asking God for direction, he revealed to me that my heart was finally in the right place and I TRULY understood the reason for baptism. It wasn’t to wash away my past so that I wouldn’t feel shame or guilt anymore. It was that I had built a strong enough relationship with Him that I realized He changed my ENTIRE life around and that I no longer wanted to define and direct my life myself but rather that I was saying God is the definer and director of my life; the public declaration of my faith in front of other brothers and sisters in Christ.

Lastly, I had a moment where God really worked in me and through me on our last night at the Alive Festival. We were standing in front of the left side of the stage watching Crowder play and waiting for our turn to go on-stage for Mercy Me, and I see this girl on her knees, face towards the ground, arms outstretched, palms up and I can just sense that she is praying. I felt this nudge a couple of times to go over to her, but I was so nervous about getting in trouble with one of the volunteers because she was in the area at the front of stage where you typically need a special pass to be. After a few nudges, I finally decided to listen to and walk over to her. I placed my hand gently on her shoulder and said “would you mind if I prayed with you?”. Now mind you, I didn’t know this girl at all, but I couldn’t help but pray for her. She looked up at me with this beautiful expression that I can’t even describe in words and said “I would love that”. I kept my hand on her shoulder as I prayed over her and although it probably wasn’t the most poetic prayer, God knew my heart and He knew what she needed. After we said ‘Amen’, she looked up at me with tear-filled eyes and told me that she had prayed prior to coming down to the festival for God to send her someone in her life that weekend. It makes me think how often we get nudges in life to compliment someone or tell someone hello, or to go pray with someone but we are too “nervous”, “scared”, “embarrassed”, etc. Too often we can miss these opportunities that God is trying to use us to bless someone else. I think to myself quite often over this last week, what might have happened if I wouldn’t have gone over to this young woman and extended my hand to her. This also makes me wonder how many opportunities I have missed in the past because I haven’t been obedient to God but rather I wanted to focus on my own selfishness and comfort instead. This whole last weekend has been an eye-opening experience for me and definitely helped me deepen my faith and relationship with Christ. If you have never been to the Alive Festival and you want to experience amazing moments, memories and change in your faith, we highly suggest you attend!

We will be doing another blog post on some tips for camping next year at Alive. Thanks so much for reading and as always if you have any questions or you want to connect with us, feel free to email us at ourharttoyours@gmail.com or you can check us out on Instagram at www.instagram.com/ourharttoyours.

Have a blessed day!

It’s What We Do

For the last five weeks, my husband and I have been involved in the What We Do Challenge. This five-week challenge consisted of prayer, fasting, memorizing scripture and serving others. The purpose? To make Jesus to make sense to anyone and everyone and to express the tangible love of Christ to those in our community and path of life. Christians can be a bit weird and this series aimed at making sense of why we do what we do.

Last weekend was Go and Do weekend, where over 2,000 people went out into the community to work on different projects; from building tiny homes for the homeless, yard work for a single mom, building skate ramps for kids and teens, cleaning up local area parks to serving at a memory care facility. That’s where my husband and I chose to serve last weekend. So, we met up at our church with our group and headed out into the community from there. Our group was large, and we had several different activities that we would be doing with the residents of the memory care facility.

Sometimes I think God has a way of using something you’re doing for others to bring awareness of something in your own life, and possibly calling you out beyond a point where you feel comfortable but there is something he is asking you to do that will bring him honor and glory. I feel like God was doing that with me last weekend. I remember being a new Christ follower, a baby Christian, so to speak, and hearing the song “Oceans” by Hillsong for the first time. That song was so powerful and spoke into my life giving me direction and guidance during those first few years. I had a goal that I wanted to sing that song in front of others, declaring God’s truth and power that he had used to transform my life and rescue me, that sometimes he calls you out beyond where you can see, but he keeps your eyes above the waves and doesn’t let you sink below the surface of the water. He is your life preserver, giving you not only life in the here and now but life for all eternity if you choose to accept it.

There was one problem with my desire and passion to sing that song in front of other people… First, I have always loved singing, and have even done my fair share of karaoke; but let’s face it, singing worship in front of a bunch of people is way different than Tuesday night karaoke at the bar. Second, I don’t have the voice of an angel, I can get away with karaoke but I’m not so sure about singing in front of a group of people, especially when there are far more musically talented people who can do a much better job than I. Third, I cannot really sing worship music without breaking into tears at the thought of how loved I am by God and how blessed I am to have the life that I do. It is an overwhelming feeling. So, I had finally come to terms with the fact that I would probably never sing worship songs in front of people, just on my drive to work. Fourth, I’m usually nervous when I must be up in front of people, although I do enjoy speaking and singing, it still makes me nervous.

Well sometimes God uses something that you’re doing to help others, to work in you and speak into your life also. So, our group was supposed to be leading worship and doing a short devotional with the residents. One of the gentlemen in our group played the guitar and started singing some older hymns that I didn’t recognize, but I felt the urge to get up there and provide some back up vocals. Sometimes the calling that God places on your heart doesn’t make sense to you and might seem like the total opposite from where you think he would call you. Yet that day, he called me to sing in front of the entire group with the man playing guitar. After he got through two older hymns, he pulled out the lyrics and sheet music for “Oceans” and I tried to not break into tears. There is something about that song that just touches my soul; something I can’t explain.

When I was singing that song, it may not have sounded like angels, but everyone said what a great job our small group did singing, and no one said anything negative. Does that mean I have a future leading worship? Probably not, but God called me into a place that I didn’t necessarily feel comfortable and I got to sing the song I had always wanted to. He also reminded me that although I may think I have no gift in singing, I may not be as bad as ‘I’ think I am. We are always our own worst critics.

So, what is the big takeaway from all of this? I think it would have to be to trust in God, listen to where He is leading you, and be willing to trust Him even when it doesn’t make sense and that even if you feel like what you’re doing is small compared to someone else’s efforts, it still makes a lasting impact when you can tangibly show the love of Christ to others who otherwise may never know who Jesus is. Even a cool glass of water given to someone in the name of Christ is praiseworthy and honorable for the kingdom of God.

So where is God trying to lead you that you aren’t sure about? Do you trust Him enough to listen and to follow? How is God trying to use an opportunity you’re in to work in your own heart to shape and mold you?

I am blessed and proud to be part of a church that loves and cares about those who don’t know Jesus, and who would pour out themselves for others who may never thank them or give them praise for what they have done. We do it because we care and because it has been done for us.

God bless you and we pray that God would continue working in your lives. If you have any questions for us, or would like more information please email us at ourharttoyours@gmail.com

Out With The Old, In With The New… Goodbye 2017 & Hello 2018!

Good Morning! Happy Sunday! Can you believe that today is the last day of the year?! A whole year gone by! Where did this whole entire year go in the blink of an eye? If your year was anything similar to ours, it may have seemed that the year simply blew by way too quickly. This year was a wonderful yet difficult one, full of many different events and emotions, both good and bad.

With the way last year ended and the beginning of this year started, we weren’t sure what the year was going to bring us, or how we were going to make it through the year.

Our family suffered horrible losses starting in early January, all of them within one week of one another. That also bringing about memorial services and funerals. Even though the loss of family was hard, things started to look up after January. We celebrated new job opportunities, weddings, Easter, birthdays, packing meals with Feed My Starving Children to provide meals all over the world, I rescued 3 baby racoons from a sewer hole at our apartments on my birthday, my husband and I celebrated our first anniversary as husband and wife, I got to experience Alive Fest for the first time and sit ON STAGE for Needtobreathe, my husband celebrated another birthday and we had an amazing vacation in Hocking Hills. This year the holidays were pretty low key, and we enjoyed that instead of rushing around to 10 different places and only getting to stay a short amount of time.

In addition to losing family this year, we also had friendships that shifted. Some friendships were lost in our lives, but we also gained new friendships and grew closer to friends that we weren’t as close with last year. As my husband and I reflect back on all this past year has brought us, we are extremely grateful for the people God has placed in our lives and for the relationships that he has helped grow and strengthen this last year.

As we prepare to head into another year, my husband and I think it is extremely important to review your last year and see where you made progress, where you can look back and have gratitude for the things you had this last year and see areas where you drifted this last year. Then you can head into the new year with goals to have health in different areas of your life, you can begin to take initiative for making progress throughout the next year in the different areas of your life, and you can make correction for the places that you have drifted in the last year of life. So below, my husband and I are going to share a resource with you, that if you want to copy it and use it to help reflect on the last year, you can do that. There are also some questions and a reminder to set goals for next year for each area of health. Some of them may not apply to you (singleness doesn’t apply to my husband and I, nor does parenting, at the moment, but parenting will apply one day)

(S/O to Pastor Ryan Rodeman for creating this easy to use template for everyone to use)

A Guide To Refocus for the Year

Take Time To Refocus

Keep these three points in mind as you look back on the past year:

1) Start with prayer. Prayer is key. Ask God to show you what he wants you to see as you look back

2) Reflection: What has happened over the past year? Take time to get above your life. Start by writing down major events in the categories below

3) Set goals for each area. Based on your reflection, you may find some areas need more attention than others.

As you go through this process, two things should happen:

1. When you begin to see the areas you have made progress, stop to thank God for his work in your life. It is good to celebrate the victories he has given us.
2. Inevitably areas will emerge where you have drifted. Don’t let this get you down. Ask the Lord to help you pursue health in the coming year.

SPIRITUAL HEALTH

–          Am I interacting with God’s word more or less than the year before?

–          When was the last time I read through the whole bible?

–          Have I been praying more or less than last year?

–          Am I praying daily?

–          Do I have a closer relationship with Christ than a year ago?

–          Are there areas of my life that I have not given Jesus control over?

–          What did God teach me over the last year?

–          Am I more motivated to become like Jesus today than I was a year ago?

–          How is my faithfulness in attending church services?

Set Goals for Spiritual Health

FAMILY LEADERSHIP

–          What’s our culture like as a family?

–          What are our strengths?

–          What are our weaknesses?

–          Are we a thankful family?

–          Is service part of our family?

–          Are we an active family?

–          Have we worked on our family this year?

–          Has entertainment or something else taken too high a priority in our lives?

Set Goals for Family Leadership

MARRIAGE

–          How is our marriage?

–          Did we make any intentional investments in our marriage this year?

–          Do we still date each other?

–          Are we protecting our marriage?

–          Is God at the center of our relationship?

–          How is our sex life?

Set Goals for Marriage

FRIENDSHIPS

–          Who are the key friends that I have?

–          Are they good friends?

–          Do they encourage me in my relationship with Christ?

–          Have I been a good friend?

–          Do I encourage them in their relationship with Christ?

Set Goals for Friendships

PHYSICAL HEALTH

–          How has my health changed over the last year?

–          Was there major change in my health?

–          Did I gain weight?

–          Am I more or less fit?

–          Have I had a physical?

–          Did I consistently exercise?

–          Have I been avoiding getting something checked out by a doctor?

Set Goals for Physical Health

FINANCIAL HEALTH

–          How has my financial landscape changed?

–          Did I incur any more debt this year?

–          How was my giving this year?

–          How was my saving this year?

–          Has my income changed?

–          Have I been faithful to God in this area of my life?

Set Goals for Financial Health

SINGLENESS

–          How am I doing in my singleness?

–          Am I viewing it as a gift?

–          Am I fully giving myself to building God’s Kindgom?

–          Am I being faithful to God in this area of my life?

Set Goals for Singleness 

PARENTING

–          How is my relationship with each child?

–          How is our connection?

–          Did I make intentional investments into their lives?

–          What are the passions that I see in their lives?

–          What are their gifts and abilities?

–          What might God have in mind for their lives?

–          Are there areas of their lives that I might need to come alongside them and help them

Set Goals for Parenting

Friendsgiving, the Christmas Season and Blessings in Disguise

Now that Thanksgiving is over we can finally talk about and start to celebrate Christmas! I love Christmas music, but I’m one of those that always appreciates if everyone can wait until after Thanksgiving at least before we start playing it. I prefer to celebrate one holiday at a time. Except in the case of putting up the Christmas tree and decorations, which typically I like to do Thanksgiving evening, or the weekend following Thanksgiving. This year we have yet to put up our Christmas decorations, but we’ll get into that later on.

So the last few years, my husband and I will host an annual Friendsgiving. Basically, it’s a Thanksgiving meal with your friends, aka, the family you GET to choose. So we celebrated with our small group from our Church. This year’s was a little different however. Instead of hosting it at our place, some friends graciously opened their home and agreed to host it at their place. So my husband and I made homemade cranberry-apple sauce, cran-apple punch (yum!) and we got so many compliments on our turkey. (I was worried I hadn’t cooked it enough, so I kept cooking it a little longer, then I worried I had overdone it, but everyone said it was so good!) So everyone pitched in other side dishes and we had a wonderful feast! Seriously, that was some of the best food I’ve had for our Friendsgiving! I found the cutest little gratitude tree where everyone was able to put a little leaf on that said what they were thankful for, so we went around and shared those out loud. After a nice delicious meal, we all had some homemade pies (thanks Amy!) and we got ready to do a white elephant gift exchange. Now if you don’t know what a white elephant gift exchange is, you’re missing out! Let me explain how it works.

Everyone brings a gift (the amount is set in advance, usually $5-$25 depending). Slips of paper with numbers for the number of people who brought gifts is placed into a bowl and everyone takes turns pulling out a number until no numbers remain. Once everyone has a number, the person with #1 goes first. They pick any gift they want from the pile and they open it. Person #2 goes and can choose to steal or open a new gift. If they steal, the person they stole from opens a new gift. Once more people join, the person whose turn it is, can choose to steal from anyone, the person whose gift was stolen can either steal from someone else or open another gift and the rotation continues from the last number drawn. This continues until no gifts remain. Typically we put a cap on stealing a particular gift twice so that way it’s not an endless stealing of the same gift.
This year instead of doing something store-bought, we decided that it would be more fun to have everyone bring something from home. This turned out to be a lot of fun! Not only did everyone get rid of something that was just hanging out in a closet, but it was fun to try out something different for a change. There was one gift in particular that was the highlight of the exchange. It was this old vintage lamp with plastic crystals and a gold base…. So when it comes time for my husband to pick a gift, he chooses this large box and inside was this lamp. Well NO ONE wanted to steal this thing! We tried pawning it off several times. Until the end of the exchange and I somehow managed to convince one of the younger boys that his mom would really like this lamp for her mantel! He totally bought my sales pitch and decided to take the lamp for mom! HAHA Everyone couldn’t believe it and we all just started cracking up laughing! It was probably one of the best white elephants we have ever participated in. Now that Friendsgiving is over, we can focus on Christmas and getting our apartment ready to decorate, which will still be a little while because we are preparing for carpet to be installed… which means moving a ton of furniture around!

In the midst of all the preparation for Friendsgiving my husband and I have continuously been moving furniture for carpet installation and we had to break it down into two separate days since we had to move all our own furniture for the carpet installers. So for the last two weeks we have been shuffling things around and now that the final day of carpet install is done and our apartment can get put back together! I used to watch the show Hoarders and I always wondered how people could live like that, and this last week our apartment has felt like it was a scene from Hoarders with everything from one floor being crammed into our loft space, there seriously isn’t even room to walk! However, this process of moving furniture has actually been a blessing in disguise. Not only were we able to get rid of some of our old furniture to someone who really needed it, but we were able to pray for some gentlemen who really needed some prayers this holiday season. I love seeing how God chooses moments like these to shine his love, mercy and grace on his people. So not only did we meet two people and were able to pray for them, but we found an amazingly good deal on some furniture for the living room through Facebook and we now have the capacity to host more people in the future, which is something my husband and I have wanted to do for a while. Not ONLY that but this has allowed us to downsize the things we have into more of essential things and to really open our eyes to how blessed we are and just to see how fortunate we are.

Now that the carpet is finished we can finally decorate for Christmas! I love Christmas time! Probably one of my favorite parts is putting up our Christmas tree! Every year my husband and I purchase a new ornament while on vacation to put on our tree. This year, we now have 3 new ornaments thanks to two friends of our giving us additional ornaments to add to our tree! You’ll have to keep an eye out on our instagram (www.instagram.com/ourharttoyours) to find out what they are! I can’t wait to finally get everything back in order and to decorate and to finally be able to truly enjoy our apartment as it was meant to be enjoyed for a while now. Looking forward to all the memories we will make while we are still here. In addition to Christmas decorating, I enjoy the wonderful Christmas services our church puts on. They are some of the best services I have ever been to and they get better every year! I know that Christmas is more than just about gifts, family dinners and decorating.

Christmas is when God gave His ONLY Son to be born for us that through him, we might see and believe and we might live. Jesus came not to condemn us for our sins, but he came to be atonement and sacrifice for our sins that we could have a right relationship with God. I love Christmas but when I sit back and think about what God did through his Son Jesus, that is the best Christmas present that I will ever receive. Jesus came to be a living, breathing example of how we should love other people and interact with them and he also became human that he experienced everything we experience in our own human existence so that he could relate to us. Jesus walked in the flesh here on earth. He was put through trials, temptations, hardships, being mocked, cursed, bruised, beaten, tortured and put to death. All for us. He knows what we have been through, he knows what we’re going through and he knows what we will go through in the future, but he is there every step of the way to walk with us and to be our helping hand.

So this Christmas take some time to reflect on the reason for the season and what that looks like in your life and how we can embrace this ultimate expression of love even more so that through us others might see God’s love and be blessed.

Remember you can email us any time with stories to share, prayer requests or to simply reach out by sending inquiries to ourharttoyours@gmail.com.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

A New Thanksgiving

Happy Post Thanksgiving! Sitting here reminiscing thinking about all that I’m thankful for. I’m also thinking about how this year, thanksgiving was different than it has been any other year.

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. We get to eat amazing home-cooked food and share special time with friends and family. If you’re family is like mine, you can also realize how quickly it can become a very stressful time of year. When I think back to Thanksgiving, I quickly remember how I typically have to spend my day shuffling from one house to another and trying (unsuccessfully) not to stuff my face at the first house so I would be able to eat a plate of food at any other house I had to make an appearance at. My parents are divorced (have been for years) and therefore, there would typically be an appearance at both places and then also at my in-laws. Typically for Thanksgiving, we would start early in the afternoon around probably 12 or so and not get home until sometimes 8 or 10 at night after traveling around all day. This year things were different however.

This year, we spent thanksgiving at one house, eating one meal that was around 5:00. We didn’t have to get up early and make food. We didn’t have to spend hours in the car traveling from house to house. Instead, wonderful friends of ours opened up their home to my husband and I, and my mother-in-law, and we got to enjoy spending time together without cooking a huge meal and without having to worry about leaving at a certain time to make it to the next house. This year, we were able to celebrate with not only family but friends also. This year was also the first year we were without certain closer family members.
Typically the holidays are a time for celebration and thanks and making memories; but for many people, it is also a reminder of the people that are no longer with them. This year, we also had to experience the holidays without certain family members around to celebrate with us. The holidays can be a tough time of grief for those who have lost loved ones, especially if the loss occurred more recently. This year we lost not only one but two members of our family and the beloved family dog. Dealing with those losses was hard enough on their own, but then having to look forward to a holiday without those family members there, is another hill to climb. We weren’t sure how, or if we would even be able to make it through the holidays. Although we had our moments of sadness and remembering, this year, we were able to laugh, cry and remember the moments with our loved ones that meant the most to each one of us.

The few weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, my husband and I took a grief class, that not only helped us process through the grief we were experiencing, but also taught me that I was experiencing grief of certain people who were still living but no longer part of my life. Grieving doesn’t always insinuate that a person is passed away; it can also mean people who are still living but no longer a part of our lives, in a way they once were. This can be a family member, or even a friend. Regardless of who it is, it still hurts that they are no longer around. Through our grief class, my husband and I were able to work through our grief in different ways and to enjoy the holidays even with the losses we experienced. This is by no means an end to our grief, it simply means we were able to make it through and as time goes on we will continue to lean on one another for support and to ensure that we are grieving properly and not dealing with complicated grief.

If you or anyone you know is dealing with grief, know that you are not alone. Although each situation is different, the relationships we have with people are different, the losses we experience are different, the facts are still the same. We all deal with grief and we all experience loss. The way in which we experience those things might vary but we can all learn from those experiences. Even though the holidays were hard without our family members here, we are grateful and blessed for the time we got to spend with our family and friends this year and for being able to have such a great support system.

If there is anything we can pray for you about or if we can help you in any way through this holiday season, please reach out to my husband and I at ourharttoyours@gmail.com and we would love to talk with you! Happy Post-Thanksgiving!